This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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