We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
