I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
