I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I want to have your abortion
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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