I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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