sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
