Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
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