fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
