oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
