Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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