Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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