I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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