New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
