I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
