Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
