i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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