Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
