I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
