three words: i give head
three words: not that well
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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