I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I'm having to shit out rocks
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