so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Your penis caused this!
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