Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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