a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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