butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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