it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
