Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
