I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
