I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
