Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you win again, gameday.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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