By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
