apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
