You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
