Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
did i just pee glitter
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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