It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
