You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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