there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
