i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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