How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
