Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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