there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
