I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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