Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
