I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
