where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
