I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
