And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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