I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
a search helicopter?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
