All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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