I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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