What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Vodka?
Forever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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