i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
