She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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